March 15,
Friday.
Just a sideline: The title of this edition of the newsletter has been a regular sentence of mine for the past two weeks and the reason would be highlighted in this edition.
Recap of the past two weeks:
My phone is in front of me as I copy what is in my note app into the newsletter. I started to do “a daily reflection” and “put down your thoughts” thing since the past two weeks and I am so grateful that I decided to do that. Even the most cliche part of my day and what runs through my mind is being written down and that is why this writing is easier.
Earlier in the week, my pins on my Pinterest app became filled with a lot of relationship ideas and pins and I guess it was because I surfed something like that a week before so the algorithm changed but that made me think of something:
There are other ways of being intimate with your partner asides kissing and sex.
As one who does not agree with sex before marriage, I think there are other intimate things to do with your partner(that you aren’t married to) to show that you love them and bond with them, showing affection. Kissing isn’t a bad thing but it just doesn’t sit right with me(because I feel like it can lead to sex), that’s for people with little self-control though. Here are my compilations of things you could do to show affection for your partner asides mouth kisses and sex.
A kiss on the back of the palm, the forehead or the cheek.
Cuddles(be careful of this one too).
Cooking together.
Holding hands, hugging.
Lots of laughter while watching a movie or playing with each other(there’s just how it makes you feel).
These are just but a few of my compilations. You could seek out more for yourself. Just an additional point: Do not stay together alone, get a chaperone or do your stuff in public. This is a whole lot of relationship advice.
I started Web 3 and Airdrop(Crypto) stuff this past week. I am not enjoying it for the moment because I am just starting out and I do not even know what is going on there but I am still on it because I want to step out of my comfort zone and try other things out. I am also sorting out animated movies to watch this year because I never watch anime(I am generally not a movie person) but I am trying to branch out.
I struggled with so much negative feelings in a rush one morning within the week. I was engulfed with the feeling of guilt, sadness, anger, disappointment, and frustration all in 15 minutes. I love the feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment I get when I tick off all the boxes in my to-do list daily but a day before that morning, I couldn’t tick off so many of the tasks I was supposed to do on that day because there was no light. The light situation of the country that week was bad and I just let it overwhelm me and then I started to think of past mistakes that I had made and I convinced myself that the reason why there was no light was because I was being punished for my errors(now that I write this, how ironical) so I just sat and I cried. For someone who does not have regrets, that was so much for the guilt of past mistakes.
Podcast:
I dropped an episode on “Being fine in your alone era”. I tend to notice that young people my age are constantly being triggered by social media to get into a relationship because they paint wonderful pictures of couples and love. On that morning, despite having the initial thought of dropping a topic in my friendship series(my favorite topics to discussed and most played of my podcast), I watched a video of an abusive home with a young child in it and I just had a change of mind.
Enjoy the episodes.
Now into the theme of today’s edition of the Newsletter
Somehow, all the activities in your life tie in together.
In another sentence, you could just term it “Enjoy the Process”. The pattern of how our lives go is often missed. We often forget to be intentional or take note(observe carefully) the process or pattern of our lives but look instead at or expect so much the result. We cast aside the beauty of the process and just want to jump into seeing the results and then move on to another thing.
This past couple of weeks, some things happened that made me reflect on how my life has been over the past 4-5 years and that is why I could make that statement. How my friends became my friends, how I now have a newsletter and a podcast, why that person now treats me the way he/she does, why I have a crush on this particular person, why I shouldn’t have taken the matter that way if I had seen this coming, and most importantly, why I should always be intentional with living so that I may practice more gratitude.
You learn to be more grateful if see the bits and pieces of what has transformed your life over a period of time. You enjoy the process while anticipating the result. When that happens, you’ll be able to tell a story that motivates, that inspires others and not just share stories that makes people oppressed or distraught.
One more thing:
First-born Syndrome again:
I feel like I have spoken about this so much but I just had to pop in here again to leave some information about it. I have a first-born male friend and I just want to be clear with you all, a first-born male and a first-born female do not have different symptoms of the first-born syndrome. It’s the same symptoms. We are both thinking of how to carry the family on our head even if we are not pressured, we cannot ask others because we feel our responsibilities is to give not collect and other symptoms we might have.
I never talk about how broke I can be sometimes but I am going to talk about it. I was so broke these weeks but I pretended that everything was fine. First-born syndrome wouldn’t let me ask for help. Two aunts called to know if I was doing okay and I said yes because shockingly, that was the only word my vocal cord could produce or I rather keep shut. I asked a friend and when asked if I was serious, I just said that it was a joke. Now, I can’t even ask my parents.
Well, this is all for this week, I’ll see you in another edition.
With Love,
Tabss.